Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
