My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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