Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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