The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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