Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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