It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
