Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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