Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
