yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Are these your boobs on my camera?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
