so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
