I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
