What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
