i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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