I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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