oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
