6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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