What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
