Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
