I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
