i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
