He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
