I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
