I think my vagina is haunted
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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