I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
