You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
