Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
no, he came in my armpit
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
