so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
