Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My vagina is very pro this idea
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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