I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
