Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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