i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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