Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
