U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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