She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
