When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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