i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
