I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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