why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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