Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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