he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
