I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This is my gift to your gina
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
