would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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