Soap is not a condiment
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Randomize
