Already got asked if we're dating
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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