My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
