We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
