no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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