Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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