we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
