Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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